Wednesday, 22 September 2010

LSNED 2010 ~ DAY 21

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To quote Frank Sinatra
"Regrets, I've had a few,
But then again, too few to mention"

One thing I do regret today, is that once again I've come to the end of a very unproductive day.

Being 'between jobs', 'a job seeker' or in real terms 'unemployed' means that so often there's no structure to the day.

When you're employed, you usually know:

 1) what time you have to get up,
2) what time you have to leave the house to get to work,
3) what you're doing through the day (or night if it's night shift),
4) what time you're going home,
5) what time you need to go to bed.

When you're unemployed, you too often know:

1) that you don't need to set an alarm clock,
2) that you won't be leaving the house unless you push yourself,
3) that the day goes too slowly,
4) that if you're living alone, you'll be alone most days,
5) that you can stay up late and it's not going to matter.

I know that some people think that being unemployed is a choice and that most of us don't want to work.
How wrong are they? Being unemployed and signing on, means that you have to go to the job centre once a fortnight, explain what you've been doing to find work and be ready to apply for anything and everything that you're capable of doing.
There's no picking and choosing.

Spring 2009, I took a job doing tele-sales from home trying to get appointments with companies for security alarms. The company was new and the whole thing was being trialled for five weeks. I got paid if the appointments I made generated sales. After five weeks of working up to eight hours a fay, I made three appointments, which I was told made sales. Yay, I thought, £75 for five weeks work. I'm rich. No, I wasn't. I was later told that all three companies changed their minds so I was getting nothing. I had no way to prove it and no money either. The company folded and I was back to the job centre again.

I've taken temporary work through agencies and looked everywhere. Once a fortnight (as I sit opposite the job centre advisor) I feel like I'm being judged. "what have you done this last two weeks?" Erm ....... slept, eaten, done housework, oh and looked for work". They bring up the list of work on their computer and "woohoo" I'm told that there's one job they have that I can apply for. One job!!!

My regret stems back a few years. When my ex and I first separated, we were working for the same taxi company. As I was only working a few hours a week, I gave it up as I couldn't bear to work with him. I would have had to be nice to him both in the office and over the two-way radio. Taxi operating is a job I've done since I was nineteen. I regret giving up that job and having nothing. I loved the people I worked with, got on well with the customers and had a ball. Now, I have the job centre and the humiliation of the fortnightly visit.

So wish I'd been thinking with a clear head
the day I handed in my notice, but:

Love, Sarah C xx

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